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The Daily Review #3: My Wardrobe

"The Horror.....THE HORROR"

I really don't want to sound like a kids' program off of nickelodeon or something, but something is really to be said about my wardrobe at the moment. At best it looks like a half-assed attempt at storing all my unwanted crap in one place. At worst it looks like I neatly arranged everything, then threw a grenade in for good measure.


Not really, of course. I'm just really lazy right now. It's technically still summer, even though everyone I know is already taking part in 'Operation Schooltime'. Well not exactly, but something similar like getting their uniform, which here in Ireland we wear to school, and of course the hopelessly expensive school books. It's a load of crap really, and I for one refuse to take part in it. Instead I re use my uniform and books each year, ever since primary school.


It saves a lot of money. Besides, does YOUR Science book have a cat with sunglasses on it? I don't think so.

Anyway, onto the wardrobe review.

Alright, if you'll direct your focus to the centre of this photo, you will notice that it is a wardrobe. Try to ignore all the other crap for a moment and focus on it. It's not too big, maybe big enough to hide in as I sometimes do. Lets have a closer look.

woah, ok. Time to identify this mess. OK, if you look from left to right: there's a lidl bag barely in view, I think it has some old holiday crap or something. Right beside it is a really old word processor. You really cannot get more 90's/early 2000's than this. It's basically the computing equivalent of a tiger handheld, in that it is shit. It's basically a fully purpose built MS word machine for making documents and stuff. I once used it in my youth to write a story about a boy who could control the weather, but it was terrible since his main use of his power was to make lightning hit the office of a greedy corporation in the hopes of scaring them into giving money to charity to support his dying friend. It was heartwarming but made no sense whatsoever and is on an old floppy buried in the nevada desert. With all those ET games.

Aaaaanyway, the middle of the wardrobe, with the white shelving, is a shelf I received to keep my clothes orderly. As you can see it didn't work. Moving on, there's some more clothes and a PS3 box I refused to throw out. It now houses some old books or something. My school uniform is also there, hanging up above the box. As for the other crap, I have no idea what it is. Lets check out the uniform though, as a special 'back to school' section of the blog.


As you can see, its a stupid tourquoisey color and has a stupid V-Neck. Apparently we're supposed to get polo shirts or some shit but with a V neck that'd just look ridiculous.


Now for the top of the wardrobe:


Alright, you can just about make out a wii box I also did not throw away, and the big black bag thing is a guitar case. There's an m43 handgun pellet gun box so that if anybody opens my wardrobe, they know I mean business. even if it is just my ma looking in it when I'm in school.

Those other boxes are full of allsorts of random junk and god knows what. I'll have to sort it out some day but until that day comes, the doors shall remain closed.

Daily Review #2: My friend Rónán's pink GameBoy Advance

"It's pronounced row (as in a boat) non (as in 'nonsense', like this blog"

Friends. Sometimes we meet people in our lives that we become such good friends with that we ignore their flaws. We take them as they are, warts and all. That's what my Ma would say if she were still alive. Oh wait, she is. I can hear her banging on the ceiling. I guess keeping her in the attic all that time probably wasn't the best idea.
That's beside the point. The point is, I've been 'budz' with my bud Rónán since we both thought wrestling was real and showering was for pussies. As a result, I've been able to take his mistakes to heart. And then carefully push them down to the point where I respect him again. One of these, the subject of today's blog, is his lovely GameBoy Advance. Which is pink.


Yeah. Not pictured: His barbie collection. Not really, of course. Like every great embarassment, there is always a story. This one takes place in the far reaches of some bootleg market my friend visited as part of his holiday abroad. You know what I'm talking about: women buy handbag counterfeits, men buy those dirty lighters that make some pictured chick's breasts spin in a strangely erotic/disturbing manner. And kids, yes kids, they go straight for the gameboy 50-in-ones which annoyingly have 3 of each game, but arbitrarily have a unique title screen in the hope we won't notice that it's the same shitty tank battle game thats as broken as my left big toe. I'm not showing a pic of that.

Sorry for the story tangent. Anyway, My Buddy decided to get a GBA, this is when they were fairly new and pricy, and of course this one was dirt compared to the home cost. And it was the only one left. Oh yeah, and it was pink. So of course our hero has a dilemma on his hands: does he get the GBA, and become the envy of every kid on the street who was waiting till birthdays or christmas or an 'extort granny's pension with puppy eyes' weekend to get a gba, (myself included) or does he instead leave it because, you know, it's pink. That's how you get funny looks from other kids. Or get beaten up.



If you've been reading this blog you'll notice there is already a pic of it, so no points for guessing what Rónán decided to do with his holiday allowance. If you're just really stupid or your internet is 'borke', here is another pic just for clarification:


The bulgarian pokemon games alsos belong to Ró but that's another story. Anyway, to this day the legendary pink gameboy, and my much more masculine purple one, has had a place in our hearts that still shows itself every once and awhile when we play pokémon or something. Sometimes us and our gameboys get together for some retro fun too, but be warned: Don't leave a male gameboy and a female one alone together or you'll find yourself with some awkward moments.


Oh dear.

Daily Review #1: Luigi Figurine from Nintendo

"Neither Daily nor a Review"

There comes a time in every persons life when they have to make some form of review. Nowadays, there are games reviews, book reviews, film reviews, and even reviews of other reviews. I decided to take a stab at it and make a review of...well anything really. Rather than make it about one solid thing, I think I'll make it about pretty much any object I can get my hands on in my local vicinity.

Starting with this, a figurine I only just got my hands on in the post, from nintendo, take a look:

I apologise for the blurriness, so to compensate I took a screen of the figurine on its website, nintendo's 'Stars' Catalogue:

Put simply, I feel duped. I acquired this figurine in the mindset that it wouldn't basically be like something you get in a kinder surprise of some sort. I was wrong. Sure, it says 3x5cm in the description, but then again, who reads that crap? Kids looking at this page essentially see this

(note: if you are age 18 or over the linked image will look identical to the boring one shown)

The figurine is really small.

But like, so what right? it's not like I paid for it: I managed to trade of some 'star' points for it. What are star points? they're invisible moneys you get from purchasing and registering Nintendo products online. That figurine cost 2000 - 2000! but I think I ordered it for free with the Wii I got for Christmas. What's that? Christmas? Yes, that is correct. I bought this piece of crap at Christmas, and received it Today. Nintendo must have decided it would be better to use a series of pulleys and perfectly placed domino intricacies over air mail or something. I got it in the mindset that it'd be this fairly sizable collectible that I could put on the shelf beside my Huge Altair figurine I got for buying Assassins Creed on launch day. Here's a comparison of the two:


You might have to squint, but there's Luigi just about in the shot. I actually heavily edited this image: Luigi has been blown up using photoshop about 10-15 times his regular size.

So there you have it, Nintendo conning people. Not to mention the Figure actually came in a kinder egg style thingy:


Cheapass Nintendo.

Also, for a bonus, here's my Assassin' Creed T Shirt. Truly badass, and free! Nintendo needs to take a leaf out of Ubisofts big french shirt thing.